Do We Really Need Emotionally Intelligent AI? Or Just More Emotionally Intelligent Humans?

If your customers are asking for empathy, why are you giving them code?

Let’s be honest - somewhere along the way, we decided the best way to handle emotional situations in business was to automate them. So now we’ve got bots “apologizing” when things go wrong, algorithms that supposedly “understand” frustration, and HR platforms that “check in” on employee well-being. And sure, it’s all slick and tech-forward... but also kind of empty.

We haven’t solved the empathy problem - we’ve just sidestepped it.

The Myth of Empathy-as-a-Service

You can’t code your way to emotional intelligence. You can mimic the signals - tone of voice, timing, sentiment - but not the substance. A chatbot that says, “I understand how you feel,” doesn’t actually understand anything. It’s just repeating lines from a script. And somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that’s progress?

Let’s call this what it is: emotional outsourcing. Companies are offloading the hard, human work of connection to machines - because it’s faster, cheaper, and doesn’t require training, vulnerability, or accountability. But here’s the thing: real empathy isn’t efficient. It’s uncomfortable. It’s imperfect. It’s human.

It’s Not Just Misleading - It’s Manipulative

There’s something off about pretending a machine cares. It’s not just bad strategy - it’s ethically murky. When a frustrated customer is met with a bot that’s designed to de-escalate, not understand, that’s not support. That’s a smoke screen.

And we’re doing it internally too. Swapping real conversations for pulse surveys. Using AI to write feedback instead of developing leaders who can coach. On the surface, these tools make us look emotionally intelligent. But underneath? Things feel emotionally hollow.

If You Want Better Outcomes, Start with Your People

Here’s a radical idea: instead of teaching machines how to fake empathy, teach your people how to actually practice it.

Emotional intelligence isn’t a software update - it’s a leadership skill. One we’ve neglected far too long.

So invest in your managers. Develop your teams. Build cultures where people listen because they care - not because it’s on a checklist. Because when people feel genuinely seen and heard by other people - not bots - they respond. Performance rises. Loyalty deepens. Trust grows.

The Bottom Line

We don’t need more emotionally intelligent AI. We need more emotionally available humans. If the people around you need empathy, stop handing them code. Give them someone who actually gives a damn.