Would You Know a Leader If You Saw One?

Growing up in the agricultural South, I often heard people chuckle at the idea that some folks believed peanuts grew on trees. It was a harmless misconception, but it revealed something deeper: we assume what we know is common knowledge, and worse, that it’s correct. This same flawed assumption permeates our understanding of leadership. We think we know what a leader looks like. But do we?

When was the last time someone explained leadership to you? For most, it’s been years, if ever. And for those in leadership roles, the assumption is often, “I’m already doing it, so I must know what it is.” After all, if your team hits its KPIs, your department runs smoothly, and profits are up, you must be leading well, right?

Not so fast.

We’ve been sold a myth: that leadership is synonymous with performance metrics, task completion, and operational efficiency. But that’s not leadership. That’s management. And while management is necessary, it’s not sufficient. Leadership is not about checking boxes or hitting quarterly targets. It’s about transformation, not transaction.

The problem? Management is easy to measure. KPIs, revenue growth, cost reductions, these are tangible, quantifiable, and rewardable. They’re the metrics that get you bonuses, promotions, and praise. But true leadership? It’s qualitative. It’s messy. It’s hard to measure. And because of that, it’s often ignored, undervalued, or misunderstood.

This confusion has created a dangerous illusion. Many in leadership positions are not leading, they’re managing. Worse, they’re manipulating. They extract effort from their teams not to elevate others, but to elevate themselves. They wield authority like a hammer, mistaking compliance for commitment. They confuse control with influence.

Real leadership doesn’t demand obedience, it earns trust. It doesn’t seek to be served, it serves. It doesn’t hide behind titles, it steps forward with character. True leaders don’t just get things done; they make people better. They inspire, not instruct. They connect, not command.

So why are authentic leaders so rare?

Because we’ve spent decades teaching the wrong lessons. We’ve told aspiring leaders to separate their personal and professional selves, to keep emotions out of the workplace, to prioritize results over relationships. We’ve glorified the “company man” who plays politics better than they lead people. We’ve created cultures where empathy is weakness, and vulnerability is a liability.

It’s no wonder we’re drowning in managers and starving for leaders.

But here’s the truth: leadership isn’t about power, position, or performance metrics. It’s about people. It’s about influence, not authority. And influence is earned through trust, integrity, and genuine care.

Consider this: would you recognize a leader who doesn’t have a title? Someone who doesn’t bark orders, but asks questions? Someone who doesn’t seek credit, but gives it away? Someone who doesn’t need to be in control, because they’ve empowered others to lead?

If that doesn’t sound like the leaders you know, maybe it’s time to recalibrate your definition.

Leadership is not a tree that bears the fruit of KPIs. It’s a root system, largely unseen, that nourishes, supports, and sustains growth in others. It’s the invisible force that turns a group of individuals into a team, a workplace into a community, and a job into a calling.

So the next time you think you’ve spotted a leader, ask yourself:

• Are they managing tasks, or transforming people?

• Are they chasing metrics, or cultivating meaning?

• Are they working others, or working through others?

  
  

Because if you think leadership is about hitting numbers and holding power, you might as well believe peanuts grow on trees.

Dr. Neal McIntyre, DPA