The Burn You Didn't See Coming: Leadership Lessons From Pepper Spray Training

Pain has a way of clarifying things. Especially the kind you expect—and still underestimate.

Years ago, during my police certification process, I faced one of the most dreaded rites of passage at that time: pepper spray training. It was brutal, predictable, and oddly instructive. And while the physical burn eventually faded, the leadership lessons it left behind have stuck with me far longer than the sting in my eyes.

Let me explain.

It was a sweltering summer day in South Georgia, the kind of heat that makes you question your life choices. We were lined up outside, ready to be sprayed, with coolers of ice and water hoses nearby—tools of relief, or so we thought. Each of us had to bring someone to drive us home afterward, because once sprayed, you’re effectively blind and disoriented.

One of my classmates went first. As expected, the spray hit his eyes like shards of glass—burning intensely. He stumbled, unable to see, and had to be blindly escorted to the water hose. With the hose in hand, he drenched his face, desperate for relief. But gravity had other plans. The water, mixed with pepper spray residue, flowed south. In a moment of desperation, he shoved the hose into his waistband, attempting to cool the fire now raging in his nether regions. In an instant, the burning of his face and eyes was no longer an issue! All of us onlookers erupted in laughter, but the lesson was clear: pain doesn’t always stay where you expect it.

When my turn came, I bent forward after getting sprayed and while drenching my face with water, letting the water fall straight to the ground. I was able to avoid the secondary burn experienced by my friend, or so I thought. Although I felt better afterward, my girlfriend still had to drive me home because I couldn’t see clearly from the lingering effects of the pepper spray. Hours later, in the shower, the residue that found its way under my hat when sprayed, found its way back into my eyes. The second burn was worse than the first—precisely because I didn’t see it coming. Due to the unexpected pain, I was mad. I was frustrated because I had expected the initial pain, not the pain that I was now under.

Life And Leadership Lessons Learned

Lesson 1: Pain Doesn’t Stay Put

In business, we often make decisions knowing they’ll cause discomfort in one area—budget cuts, restructuring, policy shifts. But what we fail to anticipate is how that pain flows. A cost-saving measure in one department might ignite chaos in another. Like pepper spray, the impact travels. Leaders who don’t account for this ripple effect aren’t just shortsighted—they’re dangerous.

Lesson 2: Relief Without Strategy Can Backfire

My classmate’s mistake wasn’t grabbing the hose—it was standing upright while flushing his face, allowing gravity to carry pepper spray residue southward into far more sensitive territory. In organizations, we often rush to relieve pain in one area without considering how our actions might cascade into others. A quick fix in one department can quietly ignite dysfunction elsewhere. Leaders must think beyond immediate relief and anticipate where the pressure—and the pain—will flow next.

Lesson 3: You’ll Need Help to Get Through It

After being sprayed, none of us could drive ourselves home. We needed someone to guide us, literally. My girlfriend had to lead me to the car and drive me home. In leadership, the same holds true. When the heat is on and clarity is limited, you’ll need others—mentors, peers, even subordinates—to help you navigate. The myth of the lone, stoic leader is dead. Today’s leaders must be collaborative, vulnerable, and willing to be led when necessary.

Lesson 4: The Second Burn Hurts More

The first burn was expected. The second, in the shower, was not. And it made me angry. In organizations, leaders often brace for the initial fallout of a tough decision. But it’s the delayed consequences—the ones they didn’t plan for—that cause the most frustration. A new policy might seem fine at rollout, but months later, it could erode trust, spark turnover, or damage culture. The second burn is real, and it’s often worse.

The Leadership Takeaway

Most leadership advice focuses on how to avoid pain. But that’s a fantasy. Pain is inevitable. The real skill is learning how to anticipate its flow, mitigate its spread, and recover with grace. Emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and strategic foresight aren’t soft skills—they’re survival tools. And if you’re not building them, you’re setting yourself—and your team—up for the second burn.

Leadership isn’t about being fireproof. It’s about knowing where the fire will go next.

Dr. Neal McIntyre, DPA